Dear editor,
Lets talk about mommy/woman shaming..also, solo parent shaming in general.
Yes, it’s a thing. To the weak men/women who do it, you know who you are. To the solo parents who feel it, i share in your daily struggles, you are not alone.
I am not writing this with the intentions of forgetting the solo fathers out there also pulling double duty. Regardless of gender, its a challenging life path.
Am i “single baby mama?” No, i am a solo parent. Note the difference, i do not receive financial help nor any form of hands on assistance from my child's biological father. Do i whine about it, heck no..i’m a strong woman as any solo parent becomes, a fierce leader for their family. Which i suggest you not tango with unless you are prepared to feel the wrath.
What that means is...i run my own business, household, meals, ensure we stay alive, i am my child’s only protector & care giver.
When there’s a noise in the night, i find it. When we have a flat tire, i deal with it...got the drift? My day starts & does not end. So, if in your eyes, that makes me “crazy” (you know who you are) OR/ if that makes me an “unfit mother” (you know who you are)...then SO BE IT.
Karma, what goes around eventually comes around. For all you out there who are guilty of verbally shaming woman as i have been, well, for your sake, i pray you live a perfect life because one day someone will give it straight back, be it through you, or 1 of your children. Trust me, memories of your words will flash & you will then understand what it feels like.
Tell me something, what gives a person out there looking from the outside of our lives the nerve to pass judgement on my life, my parenting skills. Is it a cultural thing amongst Caribbean men to feel that degrading woman is acceptable? To mock them? Obviously my life is humorous to you & your family. Time to change that stigma.
Actually, regardless of my situation, who in this world or outside world gave you the right to label any woman as “crazy” or feel as though she is an “unfit mother” or that she should clearly not have a child? Call her an old bat? Or shame her body parts? Who do you think you are? I presume you feel as though you are a group of perfect parents. Well hats off to your neighbourhood posse, we can’t all be perfect people like you all.
Here’s the thing, you may not see yourself as a racist when it comes to skin colour, however, you judgemental hypocrites are Bigots...read the definition of a bigot. Tear yourselves off facebook/whatsapp for a minute & educate yourself. You're aim at degrading/humiliating or trying to intimidate a woman is sexist... you’ve targeted on gender, age, physical appearance, not race which makes you no better.
To the mommy shaming, judgemental, self righteous men out there (lets not forget the meek, silenced women who would be lost without a man) , the Sunday church goers who turn into “he said/she said” , gossiping weekday folk; well, you would not last 24 hours in my shoes or any other solo parents shoes. Man or woman! Did the lord our God send you down to earth to judge me? I think not. I suggest you take a look into your own lives & keep your judgemental eyes, ears & running mouth(s) into your church & start practicing more of your preaching! Carry your own cross, & i shall carry mine.
To all the solo parents in St Martin or elsewhere who need a boost of encouragement, keep up the hard work, you are an amazing parent doing your best! Pay no mind to the “naysayers” lurking in your lives, eventually their running mouths will burry themselves.
Proud strong solo mama Mary & Baby G